So-Very-Meta

I’m so meta right now.

tl;dr I need to write, therefore I’m writing. About writing.

I need to write. Which is the primary reason I’m writing now, today. Writing about writing. How very meta of me.

I set out in August to create a piece of content every day. This post will mark my 7th written piece. I’ve created some Snapchat content almost every day, and a Twitter video. I’ve made a weird Beme video – honestly, I don’t know that I like it. It feels… weird.

But, I think I’ve missed a day or two, which kinda sucks.

So far I think it’s the fear more than anything.. I have this weird fear of writing. To write, I need a topic (Or like tonight, I don’t), and there’s this strange fear. No, not fear. Anxiety. This this strange anxiety around finding or at least accepting a topic. I suppose it’s almost that once I accept a topic to write about – I then need to embrace it. I don’t want to fuck it up or sound silly or come across ignorant. I’m still at that place where I fear societal backlash if I say something stupid – which is in itself stupid because the number of people reading what I write is so small and 99% are friends who tend to be very nice and encouraging about it all (thanks guys).

But.. in the back of my head I know I need to write something. Anything. And the irony is that as soon as I sit down to write the words come. I’m pretty opinionated and know a bit about a bunch of stuff, so I never really struggle to write about something once I’ve chosen the topic. But still, anxiety.

And it’s that anxiety, and kinda possibly just not feeling like it that leaves me writing my posts usually around midnight, starting just before so that the created date still comes in on the day. But, that’s also meant that a few times I’m simply too tired to write anything, and end up writing something like this..

What happens when I fall asleep writing
This is what happens when I fall asleep writing…

But that’s the moany part. I figure it needed addressing. I really want to finish the month strong. I have a bunch of stuff I’d like to write about – but I also know a few of them will take time which I need to make time for, but everything pays a price.

Writing this means that either I’m going to go to bed later or I need to fill in my expense slips another day. And they’re kinda piling up.

But this writing thing is good. I’m starting to be aware of what I want to write each day. I’ve been thinking about things more and it’s pushing me to read again (which is only ever a good thing).

I really want to do some vlogs. I’m looking forward to messing about with some video editing, but also just getting some videos out. That scares me on a different level, though. Mostly because it’s me. On a screen. Talking and shit. What will you people think!? And more importantly – what will I say?

On the vlogging, I think I’m really just not sure what to do. I mean I could do a bit of a standard vlog journal thing, or do more of a technical tutorial vibe. Arguably I should do both. The experience will do me good. I don’t know – you guys have any tips or advice? Pushing little videos to my Snapchat daily journal thing has been fun – but one can’t say much in 10s, and it disappears so quickly – I’d like something with a little more permeance – even if it’s simply so that I can go back and look through things, and build up a bit of an archive. I think that’ll be a rad thing to have.

While we’re on Snapchat – I really really like the text-overs and how they handle Emoji. It looks like they’re going to start bringing in image overlays too (if GaryVee’s vids are anything to go by) which will be very cool. Why is no one else doing this? I wish I could record a video or take a pic on Whatsapp or Instagram and easily be able to overlay text or scribble some silliness on it. Would be rad.

Ok well that’s it – and my first official ‘journal’ entry.

Chat again soon my lovelies.

x

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